December 02, 2004

Something about Mimi



家裡有養寵物的,大概都會經過「老、病、死」的階段…
Whoever keeps pets at home will have to experience stages like “getting old”, “getting sick” and “eventual death”.

這一陣子,之所以寫不出文章,一方面是工作繁重,事實上,則是因為接踵而來的傷心事,讓我選擇更忙碌的生活,少點時間思考、難過。
Why didn’t I produce (or write) too many new articles during this period? Well… partly it’s because I am quite busy with work. However, the fact is… I’ve been keeping myself busy enough so that I don’t have time to think about too many sad happenings around me and get upset.

今年是灰暗的一年。一個朋友失去了至親的伴侶,另一個朋友的爸媽雙雙被診斷出癌症中末期,另一個朋友則因為心臟病猝死家中,家中四隻貓裡,也有一隻罹了惡性腫瘤,時日不多。
It has been a gray year for me. A friend lost her husband for cancer, another friend’s parents both got different kind of cancer, another friend passed away for undiscovered heart problem, and one of the four “beasts” at home is also suffering for tumor and actually doesn’t have too much to live.

咪咪,一直是家中四隻貓裡,最不得我人緣的一隻,不過也是最像貓的一隻。自從夏末被診斷為腦部惡性腫瘤之後,我們便開始過著每四五天帶著她到醫院打針的日子,而隨著她病情惡化,臉部變形、臭味四溢,家裡總是迷漫著一股惱人的惡臭。安樂死?如果看到她身上極高的求生意志,任誰也下不了手,替她做出這了令人惋惜的決定。也正因為如此,我們也就這麼拖著,等到哪天讓她自己決定。
Mimi is my least favored among the four cats at home. But she is the most “cattish” cat among the four. The vet announced that Mimi got an aggressive tumor in the brain in later summer. Since then, we take her to the vet for injection every four to five days. Time passes by while her condition is getting worse. Her face gradually deforms, and we started to have a really bad smell at home. Euthanasia? If one sees her strong will to survive, I believe that he/she wouldn’t really decide for her. So we just try to endure all the inconveniences, until the day when she decides herself.

同情心轉化成溺愛,她一日一日變得更為嬌蠻任性。一口一口啜著專門給小貓喝的奶,她堅持你要在旁邊陪著她吃飯,喜歡待在老公懷裡,更愛在我們吃飯的時候爬到老公的肩膀上四處張望。種種我以前無法忍受的行徑,都因為她時日不多而忍了下來。幾年相處下來總是有感情,即使她向來都無法受到我的青睞,我想,我還是會為她掉下傷心的眼淚。
From sympathy to spoiling, she is getting even more demanding and stubborn. Sip by sip, she drinks the special milk for kittens. She insists that you have to stay beside when she eats. She likes to stay warm in Michele’s arm, and climb onto Michele’s shoulder to stay high when we eat. All the behaviors that I couldn’t bear in the past become bearable because I know she won’t be with us for long. It’s been some years since I moved here. Even though she’s not my favorite, I think I will still shed my tear when she’s gone.

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